Three Thousand Miles - Jealousy (book #2 of Three Thousand Miles Series) Page 5
“It should not be a problem if you love Adrian, what use is Michael to you?” She says and her voice is harsh and sounds very informative. I shake my head, as I look at her, why is she acting like this? Is she that insecure about her relationship that she feels that I need to stay away?
“Katharine, no I won’t stay away from Michael. He has saved my life in so many ways, what kind of person would I be, if I just ignored him after all that he did?”
“I am asking you, as my friend, to please stay away from him.”
“No, I will always be your friend, but Michael means too much to me and I will not be without him,” I say firmly.
“If that’s how you feel then we are done here.”
“Katharine, don’t be like that,” she picks up her bag from the floor, walks over the door and looks back to me.
“Alanna, I gave you a choice and you chose to betray me. It is not my fault that things have gone this way.”
“You can’t just walk away.”
“Watch me,” she says as she opens the door and a second later, she is gone. I throw myself down into the bed and cover my head with the sheet. My life is ruined, I have no Adrian, no Michael and now Katharine is gone. My heart has collapsed at the thought of this. How I could have lost so many people, that are important to me, is mind numbing and I am plagued by the thoughts of not having them in my life. I think of the words I heard from Adrian, he thinks I am better off without him, I cannot see how that could be possible. If anything I am worse without him, I need him to realise that, I possibly could if he would just talk to me. Have Katharine’s words affected how he feels? Is there a slight chance now that he knows about Michael and Katharine being back together, could that bring back him to me? My mind spins and I feel a migraine coming on. I push the sheet from my face and sit fully up in the bed. I reach over to the sliding table and pull it towards me. I take two headache pills from the bottle that sits on the table. I sip a small glass of water as I swallow the pills. I reach out and lift up my white Blackberry, I scroll through my texts and emails, however, there are none from Adrian. I take a deep breath and compose a text to him,
Adrian, this cannot go on any longer, I am going crazy without you. I wish that you would see sense and call me, I miss you and I need you, please Adrian I am begging you - just one text is all that I am asking for.
I hit send and I do not get my hopes up for a reply. I look to see what time it is and I notice that its gone three. Knowing that my mom will be here soon, I get out of bed and head into the bathroom. I walk over slowly and painfully, although the pain is not quarter as bad, as it was before, but it does still hurt. I find the pain gets worse, the longer I stay in bed. I wish that I were home and now I just want things to back to - some kind of - normal. I know that, before I can leave this hospital, I have to show everyone that I am fine. I open the bathroom door and flick on the light. I catch my reflection in the mirror and I am appalled at what I see. My hair is thick mass of tangles, my face is even paler than before and my eyes seem as if they have sunk into my head. My lips are still full colour but they are dry and chapped and in desperate need of some lip balm. There is no way I would ever let my mom see me like this. She would definitely know that I was crying from the stains on my cheeks. I do not want her to think that I am unstable, I want out of this hospital and I need to give everyone the illusion that I am perfectly happy. I take out my hairbrush from the wash bag and start to run it through my tangled hair. I manage to ease the frizz and slick it back into a high top bun. I splash my face with cold water and apply some face wash. I scrub at my face until its gleaming; I rub in some glowing moisturiser and apply strawberry lip balm to my large red lips. I lean back and take long look at myself. When I feel that I look somewhat presentable, I switch off the light and make my way back over to the bed. I get half away across the room when I hear a knock at the door.
“Alanna,” I hear Dr James say. I turn around and he is standing in the doorway. I smile at him.
“Yes, how I may help you?” He smiles and pushes the door further open.
“I just came to check on you, but you look fine, how are you feeling today?” I remember the thoughts I just had about the illusion of happiness.
“I am great,” I say beaming.
“You certainly look great,” he says very cheekily. He rushes up to me and escorts me back to the bed.
“You know, I can manage by self, the pain is not so bad now and I do feel great.” I slip into the bed and pull the sheet over me; Dr James stands very smugly.
“Alanna, I know that you want out of this hospital, but I can assure you that I won’t let you go until you are one-hundred per-cent ready.” My smile quickly fades and I cannot believe that he has saw through me so easily.
“When do you think that I will be ready?”
“You need to rest, I would suggest at least another few days before you can even think of going home.” I roll my eyes slightly as I glare at him. He is smartly dressed in a dark blue shirt and smart black trousers that fit him perfectly, and the shirt fully shows off his muscles. His hair is jet black and flicked into a quiff-type hairstyle, he has the perfect golden skin and by seeing him again, I fully see that he is a beautiful guy.
“Have you had many visitors today?” He says kindly.
“Just my friend Katharine although, after today, I don’t think that she is my friend anymore,” he nods as he looks interested in what I am saying.
“What happened?” He says as he stands by my bedside.
“It is a long story,” I say quietly as I do not really want to go over it again.
“I have plenty time!”
“You never have time, there is always some nurse calling for you,” I say smugly to him.
“I am on break, so go ahead and tell me,” he says as he pulls a chair over and sits very close to me. I move slightly back in the bed so that I am not so close. I take a deep breath and begin to explain to him what happened.
“That’s very unfair, of her, to make you chose like that,” he says finally after listening so long to me ramble on about Katharine.
“I know it’s not fair, I don’t understand, how she can ask me to do a thing like that?”
“She obviously has some jealously issues, she must feel threatened by you but, come on, the guy saved your life how can you just ignore him?”
“I know, I couldn’t and I won’t, Katharine will have to accept the fact that I am still going to see Michael, regardless of what she thinks.”
“You are one feisty girl, Alanna, but I like that about you.” I look over to him and lock my eyes on his.
“Do you have any women troubles that you want to talk about” I say trying to lighten the mood.
“Not really.”
“Come on, share with me,” I say and I let out a soft giggle.
“The only woman trouble I have ever had was with my ex, Emma.” He says as he looks down to floor and I can tell that this may be a touchy subject for him.
“What happened?” I insist as I maintain my stare on his eyes.
“It’s complicated.”
“Isn’t every relationship?” He smiles and then he continues to talk.
“Emma was my girlfriend, we met at a club in Soho and I fell for her instantly. I was very nervous to even speak to her, but I managed to pick up enough courage to approach her. I asked her out and she said yes, am I boring you yet?”
“No, go on.”
“We dated for nine months and I was in love with her. Even though she would not admit it, she felt the same way. She is five years younger than me and at first I just thought that it was her age that was holding her back from committing fully to me,” James’s voice is shallow and I can tell that he still hurts over this girl.
“What was holding her back?” I say.
“She had issues that went far beyond what I could have imagined.”
“What were they?” This strikes a chord with me and resembles what I first thought of Adrian. I
want Dr James to tell me more I am very interested to hear his story.
“Emma’s mother is very protective of her. She does not like guys getting too close to her daughter, and Emma was always worried about what her mother would think of her and I. So she kept our relationship a secret for a long time.”
“That must have been hard.”
“It was, I loved her and I wanted her to move in with me but I knew she never would. She cared too much about what her mother would say and in the end it ruined our love.”
“Why would a mother do that to her daughter?”
“I guess it was because of her mother’s own experiences.” This is starting to sound familiar to me. The mother’s concerns and the name Emma strikes a liking to Maggie and Adrian’s sister Emma. I shake of the feeling and I think it is just a coincidence.
“Did the mother have a bad experience with a guy?” I say still with the crazy idea in my head that Dr James is referring to my Adrian’s distant family.
“Emma’s father left them and I don’t think her mother ever fully got over that.” I am stumped the similarities that just keep coming.
“What was the mother’s name?” I ask him and it feels as if my heart has stopped beating as I await his answer.
“Maggie I think,” I gasp loudly and I can see that Dr James looks puzzled by me.
“Is there something wrong?” He says. My mind is racing and I do not know what to say, what a small world this is, my doctor is the ex-boyfriend of Adrian’s sister. This type of thing does not happen.
“I know the mother, Maggie.” He looks confused.
“How do you know her?” I sigh, “The boyfriend that is MIA, Emma is his sister.” He sits silent and reflects on what I have just said after a brief pause he finally says.
“I wasn’t aware she had a brother.”
“They literally just found out.”
“How can this be? Is he a step brother or a biological brother?”
“He is her half-brother, they share the same father, and he also left Adrian when he was very young, and I guess that he did the same to Emma.”
He shakes his in disbelief. “Has he met her?”
“I don’t think so, I only found out about Emma on the day I was shot.”
“How did you find out about her?” He asks.
“Maggie is a chef and she was working for Adrian at the condo in which I was staying. She told me about her daughter and we finally came to understand that she and Adrian were siblings.”
“This is unbelievable.”
“I know, but you have to understand that there is a reason why Maggie acts in that way about relationships.”
“I had a feeling that she was hurt before by a man, whenever I asked Emma about it she wouldn’t tell me.” I nod in agreement and I feel that Dr James deserves to know the truth.
“Maggie met Emma’s father when she was a young college student in Chicago. Maggie had dreams to become a journalist and while she was out on a work experience programme, she met and fell in love with Edward Black. He was the most gorgeous man she had ever seen. Soon after they got together Maggie found out that she was pregnant.” I look at Dr James’s face as he processes the new information he has now found out about the girl that he loved. I feel sorry for him and I think that he still loves her. I wonder about Emma and if she has any issues that go further than commitment. I know for sure that Adrian has suffered and he has problems still to this day, about what happened to him. Although Maggie was the best mom she could be and always put Emma first, I cannot help but think that perhaps Emma suffers in silence about her father leaving her.
“When Emma was born, Edward wasn’t around a lot and he refused to marry Maggie. She heard rumours every day, that he was with other women, but she ignored them until one day he left her and a one-year-old Emma.”
“I never knew any of this; I wonder why she never told me?” Dr James says his voice is sad and I think that he feels sorry for himself. I reach over and take his hand and he looks up at me.
“You still love her don’t you?” He sighs and agrees with what I am saying.
“Yes, I love her but I can never be with her, her mother won’t allow it.”
“The thing with Maggie is that she had to put her dreams of becoming a journalist on hold, while she looked after Emma, and Maggie believes that love is not the most important thing. She feels that love finds you and, until it does, you should focus on your career. She said she would never let her daughter fall stupid in love and throw away her dreams.”
“That’s crazy; you can still have a career whilst you’re in love.”
“I know that, but when people go through certain things they tend to stick to the opposite of what they have experienced,” I say as my mind flashes to Adrian and the way he is. I automatically think to how unreasonable he is being right now; it is as if he is trying to prove a point by staying away from me. I close my eyes for a second and an image of Adrian pops into my head. It was the night when I sang to him that I remember. His face was amazed when he heard me sing, it seemed very important to him and he has a deep connection to music, which possibly is reflected back to his child hood. Dr James brings me out of thought,
“Alanna, I think that you were day-dreaming or something.” He says in a varied voice.
“Sorry, I do that a lot; anyway I hope you understand more about Maggie now?”
“Kind of, but that doesn’t mean I agree with her opinions.”
“No, but it gives you little hope that it’s not you who did something to offend her, Emma could be with any guy and Maggie would still act the way she has, it is nothing personal.”
“Alanna, I hope that you are right.”
“I am sure that I am, Dr James.”
“It is just James, ok?” I smile at him.
“Alright then James,”
We talk about a number of things over the next twenty minutes. He has told me about his family and that he has two brothers, one is younger and the other is older. James also told me that his parents are divorced, his mom lives in the New York and his Father has moved down to Miami. He explained how hard the divorce was on him and is brothers, but after three years, the family is now in a good place. His father visits every weekend and the brothers go to dinner at their mothers every Wednesday night. Alistair is his older brother and he is a top lawyer at some fancy firm in the city. George is his younger brother and he is still in high school, according to James George is the rebel in the family, he does everything he possibly can to you be different from the other two and insists that he won’t end up in a boring job like his older brothers.
“What does George find boring about your jobs?” James rolls his eyes.
“Everything, he wants to be a rock star of all things.”
“Everyone has a dream, music maybe is Georges dream.”
“No he just wants to rebel against my father.”
“What does your father work at?”
“He owns a luxury car dealership in Miami, he always wanted one of his sons to take over the business but I am a doctor and Alistair is a lawyer, you see George is the only one left and that’s why my father pushes him harder and George pushes back with even more force.” I nod to him and my mind turns unexpectedly to Michael and Chad. I wonder if they had the similar problems to those of James and his brothers. I bring myself out of thought and continue my conversation with James.
“How old is George?”
“Sixteen going on sixty” I laugh and think to Penelope, although she is only seven she can certainly be a little Madam when things do not go her way. She is growing up so fast, I miss her and I must tell my mom to bring her to see me. It scares me to think that the last time that I saw her was right before I went to London.
“He is still young, he might come around.” I say, shaking off that terrible guilt I have for not seeing my own little sister in so long.
“I hope so, for my father’s sake, Alanna can I ask you something?” I flinch a little
at his words but I compose myself.
“Yes of course.”
“Your boyfriend, why isn’t he here?” I hate the very fact that Adrian is not here, but I hate to talk about it even more. Somehow, I feel obliged to tell James everything. I don’t know if it is because he is my doctor, or because he might understand about how I am feeling, everything he has gone through with Adrian’s sister, has struck a chord with me and I feel that he would be the only other person who would understand how I am feeling right now. I take a deep breath and I begin to tell James all about Adrian.
“It is strange he is not here isn’t it?” He briefly smiles at me as he says,
“Yes, I understand if you don’t want to talk about this.”
“No, I do, he is a very complicated guy.”
“I want to know about him; after all he is the brother of the girl that I love.”
“Unlike Emma, Adrian didn’t have the best childhood, his mother was abusive and she brought home different guys almost every night. There was one in particular that took a disliking to him and he would do awful unthinkable things to ten-year-old Adrian.” I have a lump in my throat as I think of his sadness again. I clear my throat quickly and I proceed to tell James about Adrian.
“It wasn’t until Adrian was twelve that he was brought into care; he spent two years in a children’s home and then was adopted by Mr Jenkins and his wife.”
“I know that type of thing happens on a daily basis and the sheer fact of that is terrible, however most people myself included don’t think of it.”
“I know exactly what you mean, I never thought of anyone going through something like that. It was mainly because I never knew anyone that had, when Adrian told me all about everything, I was riddled with guilt for my own happy childhood.” I say not taking a breath as I do.
“You don’t see it until it is right there in front of you.” I am in total agreement with James’s words. “Alanna, I feel sorry for the guy but that doesn’t explain why he isn’t here.”
“I know, he isn’t here because he blames himself for what happened to me, I know he is crazy for thinking that but if you knew him then you would understand.”